14 Aug 2013

WALKING THE TIGHTROPE: BEGGING TO EXHALE

By KemmieOla,
Wednesday, August 14 2013


In most relationships today, the issue of personal space is one that has led to more than a few quarrels among both lovers and friends. At some point or the other, couples break up because one person felt stifled by the other. Often times, we are too in love and too involved to see that that person needs to stop being around you all the time, he/she needs to relax, think and act without you there.
Needless to say, for some people personal space is more important than the whole relationship. The idea that someone would just cling to them and never let go is somewhat suffocating for them. I was discussing the issue with one of my friends and she stated that personal space is needed because it spices up the relationship in some ways.
According to her, when your partner is around all the time, it starts to get boring; even married couples need their space. Absence makes the heart fonder was her closing mantra.
Another female friend said she doesn’t even want to feel like she’s in a relationship, and that’s why she developed something called ‘The Two Bus-stop Rule’. The Two Bus stop rule states that the minimal amount of space allowed between you and your partner is two bus stops. In her words, “I don’t want to stand in my balcony and see my boyfriend stroll by with only boxers on.”
To be very candid, that made me laugh.
In order not to look like a feminist or sexist or permanent carrier of a placard that says “Power to the Women’, I decided to ask some of my guy friends too.  These are their answers;
Justin: “I think personal space should form the beginning of a relationship, but it should phase out as soon as you guys continue onward. I believe this for the same reason that I don’t believe in wives running to their mothers when they fight with their husbands.”
Abdul: “Very important, let your lover breath and do not become a police person on them. Else, you’ll hurt yourself and start chasing shadows.”
Most of the males were of the “freedom to all” state of mind except for a handful who felt there was no need for personal space. According to one of them, “It’s both of us against the world, not both of us and the world.” One serious eyebrow-raising answer I got happened to be from a girl, she felt that she had no reason to want time away from her partner. “Why would I want to do anything or be anywhere without him?” she asked me, and for the life of me, I had no reply.
So I have come here to ask you today, ladies and gentlemen. Do you agree with the idea of personal space? And if yes or no, state your reasons. Why exactly would you want to do anything or not do anything without your partner? Let’s have your views in the comment section. Thank you

Kemi is a 200L Mass Communication major at the University of Lagos. She is eccentric, an avid lover of music and poetry, and a cautious observer of Life.

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