26 Jul 2013

WALKING THE TIGHTROPE: THAT BFF LOVE

By KemmieOla, Friday, July 26 2013

We all have that special person in our lives, that special person we can talk to and tell all our secrets to. That person who knows more about us than anybody else does, even our parents. They know our innermost secrets and know things that we wouldn’t dare to tell anyone else, not even our partners. Yes, even our boyfriends and girl friends don’t know what this person knows. This person is known as the best friend.
Often times, best friends are usually members of the opposite sex who have proven themselves worthy of our absolute trust and devotion.
These alliances usually work really great until one of you starts to develop romantic feelings, or “catch feelings” as they say for the other person. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

Although, I would admit that in some cases, the love is really there and all is well that ends well, but in others, there is sure to be a permanent separation between the two at the end of the day. If we are being realistic though, more often than not, the best friend is the best option, because he is somebody that knows you more than any other person and the complete knowledge of you that he or she has makes them able to make you happier than any other person.
In a bid to be objective, I asked a few people what they thought about dating their best friends. I got answers ranging from an immediate, straight forward “NO” to a dreamy “YES”. I already classified the reports I got into three different groups.
A group people feel that the lack of mystery doesn’t make for an interesting relationship, plus knowing that much about each other could easily lead to one blackmailing the other should an argument arise or any other serious incident of the sort. It is believed that a romantic relationship is more interesting when you’re both getting to know each other well for the first time.
The second group of people were under the “NO” header. According to these people, “if we’re close enough to be best friends, we are too close to be in a romantic relationship.” I wouldn’t say I disagree with this point of view, but I’m reluctant to accept it and find it quite confusing. Isn’t your lover being your best friend kind of the dream?
Now this third group of people are under the “Yes, maybe” header. They agree that the best friends are the best people to be in the relationship with, but they don’t think it’s a good idea to be in a relationship because they do not want to lose the friendship. From these people, I heard choruses of “What if I say no? He’ll hate me.” or “What if I ask her and things become awkward between us?” and the most common; ”What if we break up, the friendship will be lost.” I felt pretty bad for this lot.
We will all agree that the issue of dating the best friend is a very sensitive one, because once you go into it, there are only two ways it can end; good or bad.


Kemi is a 200L Mass Communication major at the University of Lagos. She is eccentric, an avid lover of music and poetry, and a cautious observer of Life.

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